


unhealthy

by stupideas



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: 2hyun makes me weep, Jealousy, M/M, jonghyun makes minhyun weep, just bc they're after jr, minhyun hates the world tbh, oblivious jonghyun, one-sided, ps i'm sorry i'm so lame, unhealthy really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:10:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupideas/pseuds/stupideas
Summary: In which Minhyun wants Jonghyun to focus on him and only him.





	unhealthy

It wasn't the surprised expression that Minki gave him that bugged him; it was rather the betrayed look Minki spared him when he only called out Jonghyun's name. Minhyun doesn't know if it was because he didn't take Minki's name or because he took Jonghyun's before Minki could even think about it.

Minhyun shot an apologetic smile to Minki, whilst thinking of ways to justify his actions. Sure, Jonghyun was a pretty good dancer and a good leader, but that wasn't his intention to pick him. Minki was one of those few who could see through his façade and lies when he was doubtful; Minhyun very well knew Minki was at that time, so he needed a reason that Minki could digest – words that would hide his unhealthy affection towards Jonghyun that had always been with him.

His eyes fell on Jonghyun, who seemed rather surprised – it hurt Minhyun a little; Jonghyun thought he wouldn't be chosen, at least not by him, which was painful to consider – yet grateful. Jonghyun always had a shy personality; it took him time to mingle. Jonghyun carried a huge cloud of insecurities with him everywhere which weighed him down as well as Minhyun. That was partly a reason why Jonghyun was chosen too. If Jonghyun was with one of them, he wouldn't be suffocated by the negativity he refused to let go of. Minhyun wanted to take care of Jonghyun this time around, make him see how he could be a good company too, make him want to stay with him.

It was a survival show, yes, but he was being selfish for other reasons, which was bad; favoritism, feelings couldn't get on his way but Minhyun couldn't sleep with the thought of Jonghyun's arms wrapped loosely around Minki's, Jonghyun's fingers running through Minki's locks, Jonghyun's lips curling up on the sight of Minki working hard and Jonghyun shedding his sweat and tears for Minki. He had lived with it for five years or more, and those years were bearable because in those five years Jonghyun shot him small smiles, shared happy moments with him and remained by his side when he asked for it. Now, the distance between the two of them was gradually increasing; Minki found a way to get in between every time and the classes. Minhyun was tired of everything; the separation, the lack of contact, his lifeless eyes – everything was taking a toll on him and stirring jealousy in his heart. It was unhealthy for him, and for Minki, but Minhyun let it take over him this time. He needed Jonghyun to surround him before he lost his sanity.

"Thank you."

Minhyun was snapped back to reality. His eyes flickered from the empty wall to the person in front of him, who stood in front of him with a drained, grateful smile. Minhyun's breath got stuck in his throat for a second; after days of staying away from each other, they'd finally made an eye contact, which made him all excited and fuzzy. His heart hammered loudly against his chest and all the colors seemed to come back in his dull, dark life. He couldn't think straight; words were all scattered, emotions jumbled, yet everything seemed to revolve around Jonghyun and Jonghyun alone.

Jonghyun's hand brushed against his arm, again bringing him back to reality. Minhyun felt a jolt run down his spine. Concern dawned on Jonghyun's features. He gave Minhyun's arm a light squeeze, "You alright?"

Minhyun so badly wanted to take that hand in his, interlace their fingers to make sure he wouldn't slip away and pull him closer. He wanted to erase all the distance they had, physical and emotional; whisper those three words he'd been keeping to himself for years, tell him he's so much more to him than a best friend, and press a kiss on top of his head to assure that everything would be fine, that they'd go through this together and merge as victorious.

Minhyun inhaled sharply before shaking his head. "It's fine. I'm fine," he lied to Jonghyun, and to himself.

Jonghyun didn't seem to believe however and kept his gaze fixed on Minhyun, in hopes to find something, because he'd understood that Minhyun wasn't fine by then. Minhyun could read through Jonghyun – he would bring up the word pressure for sure, Minhyun knew he wouldn't go beyond that, but he was scared. He feared Jonghyun would know about his feelings and stay away, or start apologizing again for something he didn't do.

The last thing Minhyun wanted was for Jonghyun to apologize and distance himself further so he took a step and called the other four to join them. Jonghyun's eyes narrowed and a betrayed look crossed his face, but Minhyun could care less. Jonghyun could be mad at him, but he wouldn't stand him being apologetic; it was the last thing he wanted.

But the other part of him wanted to open up about this. He desperately wanted to tell everything to Jonghyun, bring the world to him and treasure him, show him how much he means to Minhyun. It was stupid but he hoped that Jonghyun would return his feelings. He wanted to make Jonghyun his and only his, not theirs; he wanted to be the only want to touch Jonghyun, the only one Jonghyun would smile at, the only person Jonghyun would lean on when he's tired, only person Jonghyun would shower his affections to, the only person to wipe Jonghyun's tears and the only cause of his happiness. It was stupid, selfish, wrong, and unhealthy but somewhere he wanted that.

Minhyun felt conflicted, but he knew better than to hope. He spared a glance at the older who despite the kids constantly bugging him, spared Minhyun worried glances. It was purely an act of friendship but he couldn't help but be happy. Warmth spread across his chest every time they shared an eye contact; worried gazes soon became playful ones. One of the four would say something and the two of them would look at each other, chuckle under their breaths, because of the wordless conversations they had. Minhyun was the happiest then, especially because there was no Choi Minki in between them. Things seemed to fall back to its place; Jonghyun was his, he was Jonghyun's, not in way he wanted to, but it still felt good.

Whatever he was feeling was really unhealthy, but he didn't care. It was alright, what mattered the most was that there were no more barriers between him and Jonghyun.

Except maybe Kwon Hyunbin.

(But it didn't matter; Minhyun knew Jonghyun secretly preferred him over the tall kid.)

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from aff // i want more 2hyun tbh


End file.
